Happily Ever After?
by mary-d1
Summary: Companion piece to Waiting. This is the story from Ron's point of view.


Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related names and places are the legal property of J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury, and AOL Time Warner and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended.

Well, I hadn't ever intended to do a companion piece to "Waiting", but I just kept coming up with story dialogue during long boring hours at work. Moreover, some people had actually requested it (thought it's been ages and ages ago…) for a sequel or something. So I figured Ron's side of the story needed to be told. I've only ever written Hermione in first person and us both being a girl makes it easy. Writing Ron has been a challenge, but it's been fun actually. Hope you like it.

* * *

I watch as she drives away, my baby girl in the back seat waving merrily at me. It seems odd now. When the children are here I feel the need to be alone, to just be still and silent. When they are gone, though, I desperately crave the noise.

Making my way out to our small porch, I sink into one of the chairs. I really hate these chairs; they are far too red, I think. Actually, it's not the redness I hate; it's the fact that Diana loved them. They were the first things she picked out when we bought this house.

"_So we can sit outside together and watch the sunsets!"_

We watched exactly two sunsets together in these stupid chairs. I haven't had the energy to throw them out. Hermione has offered to take them away when I'm ready. She said so, after hearing me complain about them for the past month.

Dear Hermione; she looks after me so well. I can't imagine what I ever did to deserve someone like her…

I leap from my chair. Damn it all! This isn't fair! Not to me, not to Diana, and certainly not to Hermione!

Pacing around the lawn, I think about my choices in life. How could I have screwed everything up so badly? The horrible part of my brain is starting to take over, and it's making me think horrible thoughts.

"_This is just as much her fault as it is yours. Don't pretend she was innocent and perfect. Let the others believe that load of garbage!"_

It's true really. We're both to blame for letting things go as far as they did. Why didn't I ever see it?

"_You did, stupid! You just didn't want to believe it!"_

Hmm, true. I try to think back to before my life was screwed up. And of course, whose face shows up in my mind? Hermione…

Undoubtedly the most perfect woman on the face of the earth. I know, I know… My wife just died; how could I possibly say that about another woman?

Well, I'll tell you. I can say it because she's the only woman I've ever truly loved. I mean truly loved. Then why am I not married to her and sitting in her horrid chairs, you ask? Well, because to put it plain and simple…I'm the biggest fucking idiot that's ever walked.

I've been in love with her since…well, I don't really know when it happened. I think it just sort of evolved over time. The moment I realized it though…that memory is clear as a bell and one of my most cherished ones.

Fuck, I'm doing it again! Thinking about her, when my wife is dead. How can I stop though? Diana and I were over long before her death. Why didn't I just let go? We both could have been happy. Now she's dead and I'm having to carry around this huge, partially true grieving act.

Don't get me wrong, I loved my wife and I miss her very much. She gave me three wonderful children and several…well okay…a few years of happy marriage. However, in the last few years, I've learned that the "Happily Ever After" bullshit only exists in children's fairy books.

In the beginning of our relationship, Diana and I were happy. Truly and completely. My thoughts weren't with another woman, and she was happy just being my girlfriend. Then we decided to get married. Things only got better.

I should have noticed something odd when she became unhappy about our move back to London from Romania, just before the wedding. I knew she loved the place, but when I was offered a very prominent position in the Ministry, she came with me.

Then came the twins. Never had I seen a woman so in love with her children. Even before her belly began to swell, she cooed to them and sang songs. After they were born, she took time from her work to stay home with them. They were the center of our universe.

As they grew older though, began to lose that maternal part of her that smiled at everything they did. When the twins were two, Diana wanted to go back to work. I, of course, encouraged her to do what she wanted.

In the beginning, Diana seemed to go back to the woman I had married. That only lasted a few weeks. She began to stay at work later and later each night. Most every night of the week, I was the one who put the children to bed. My mother began to ask questions; things must have seemed odd. I simply told people that she had to catch up on two years worth of work in order to get back to the top of her field.

Eventually, Diana and I had a talk. I asked her to come home earlier to spend time with her family. She nearly ripped my head off.

"_How dare you ask me to put my career aside! You were the one who drug us to Britain, and I have had to start from the bottom! None of these idiots take me seriously, but if I go in and tell them that I have to be home to change nappies, they will laugh me out of my office!"_

"_So now all of this is my fault? I'm just asking you to spend time with your children, Diana! Do you know that they go to sleep every single night asking for you?"_

The argument continued for three weeks. Eventually we both gave up. I never mentioned it again, and Diana kept working.

As Nathan and Natalie got older, I began to miss having a baby around the house. I had always known that I wanted a large family. I had grown up in a house that was full of noise and clutter, and I loved it. Diana, however, had grown up an only child. She was petted and pampered her entire life. She never knew what it was like to share things with six others or wear hand-me-downs that should have been retired three brothers earlier. Over dinner one night, I brought up the subject of perhaps having another child.

"_Ron, don't be ridiculous. The twins are finally to the point where they don't depend on us for every little thing. No more dirty nappies or getting up at two in the morning to feed them. Our careers are working out wonderfully. We are perfect just the way we are. Why go and ruin it by adding another screaming baby into the house?"_

Therefore, the subject was dropped. Well at least until a few months after the twins had turned five. I had dropped them at my parents for the night, and had planned to get work done. I knew Diana had planned a dinner meeting with a senior member of the staff, and planned to be out late. I was shocked when I heard the sound of her bag being slammed on the floor.

I was seated at my desk when she entered the room, she looked to be in a towering temper. She had felt ill for the past few days, and hadn't been in the best mood. This seemed much, much worse than just an upset stomach.

Her jaw was set and her breath was deep, but uneven.

"_I thought you would be out tonight?"_

"_I canceled."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because, I decided that I should be here tonight."_

My heart skipped a bit. Diana had finally chosen family over work…

"_Don't you dare smile at me you bastard!"_

My heart plummeted to my knees.

"_I went to see a healer today. I'm pregnant, again."_

She practically spat the last words at me. It was like hearing some one say they had caught a nasty virus again. A smile tried to form on my lips, but I stopped it. No matter how happy I could be about it, Diana was thoroughly angry.

She crossed the room and stood towering over me. Tears were pooling in her eyes and her hands were shaking. She was in a rage.

"_You knew I didn't want this, again! I told you that I was through with this whole mothering business! I had enough of giving up everything I wanted to take care of everyone else! Now, I'll be expected to take off work again and sit around singing fucking lullabies and reading bedtime stories!"_

"_Funny, I don't remember you doing that the first time." I mumbled._

"_You son of a bitch! How dare you! You did this on purpose!"_

"_Diana, last time I checked, two people were involved in the process."_

That earned me a stinging slap across the cheek.

"_What do you want to do, Diana, get rid of it? I hear that's what you career-woman are doing these days!"_

"_You know perfectly well that isn't an option! I wouldn't dare shame my family in such a way."_

"_So, what the bloody hell do you want me to say?"_

"_Nothing, we've said enough. I'll have this baby, but don't expect me to give up anything. I will work up to the day it's born and return immediately after."_

She was as good as her word. Diana actually went into labor during a huge department heads meeting. She insisted they keep going right up until the last possible minute.

During her pregnancy, our marriage crumbled around us. We were far too proud to let anyone know that there was trouble, so we tried to avoid being in public together. Our daughter's birth was the longest we had been in a room together in eight months.

I had hoped that Caroline's birth would bring about a change in Diana. I had hoped that she would see how wrong she was about children, but I was wrong again. She immediately told the healers to do anything and everything to prevent her from ever getting pregnant again. She took the shortest amount of time from work she could after the baby came. People began to whisper, but we went on about our business.

Diana began to take many assignments that forced her to leave the country. She would be gone for weeks at a time. The twins finally stopped asking where their mother was. I told them repeatedly that she loved them, and we both just wanted to work hard so they could have everything they would ever want.

The one constant bright spot through everything was Hermione. She was wonderful, and never asked questions. She always volunteered to watch the children when I had meetings at night. When the twins complained about only ever eating take-out for dinner at home, Hermione made it her mission to be sure we all had decent food every night. She helped me to tuck Nathan and Natalie in at night. She would rock Cara and sing her lullabies. I would watch her and think that she was the sort of mother my three children deserved.

When Diana was home, Hermione wouldn't stop by. On those nights, lying in bed alone (Diana insisted on sleeping in separate rooms), I would miss my best friend's company. Diana and I had simply become two people living in the same house. We rarely spoke, hardly ever looked at each other, and never touched. I shamefully began to look forward to the days that Diana would leave and Hermione would come back with her bright smiles and beautiful laugh.

Cara was around six months old when it happened. It was a warm spring Saturday and Diana had been gone for two weeks. Hermione had arranged a picnic for all five of us in our backyard. I was sitting on a spread out quilt, trying to keep my baby girl from eating ants, when I looked up. Hermione was in shorts, sandals, and a scruffy t-shirt with her curls pulled into a sloppy ponytail. She was chasing the twins around the yard, trying to catch them. Suddenly the children attacked her from behind, and sent her crashing to the ground. Giggling, the trio rolled around shouting and laughing. Hermione untangled herself from the mess and came back to the blanket. I looked up into her face and felt something I hadn't felt in years. Dirt was smudged along her cheek, grass was caught in her hair, and sweat gleamed on her forehead. She looked a terrible mess, but in that instant, I knew that I loved her. I knew I had loved her all along.

I don't know how long I had felt it. It was as if a sleeping dragon had just awakened inside of me. The knowledge hit with the force of beater's club. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. I could only stare at her and wonder what had happened. I knew that when we were teenagers, things were always strange between us. I always felt that I wanted her to be more than my friend. But, what would the most brilliant witch to ever cross the threshold at Hogwarts want with a poor, untalented, idiot like me? I knew that I was nowhere near good enough for her. The only way I could have her in my life was as my friend, and I refused to do anything to jeopardize that. So, I pushed back any attraction I had for her and moved on.

I found out on that no matter how hard I pushed, my feelings for Hermione wouldn't disappear. I simply found others to replace her. Then I found Diana, who I thought was what I was looking for. She was everything that I loved about Hermione. Smart, beautiful, loved to boss me around, made me want to fight with her and then snog her senseless…

She was perfect, or at least I thought. That night as Hermione was leaving, I began to question my entire life with Diana. I hadn't fallen in love with Diana. I had fallen in love with the parts of her that reminded me of the one person I couldn't have.

After that, I began making excuses to keep Hermione from coming around. She would come to take the twins for the afternoon and I would feign a meeting to keep from staying in the house with her for too long.

For months, it went on this way. Diana flitted in and out of our life, while we kept up the lie of the happy, but terribly busy family. Finally, one night, I came home to find Diana waiting for me. She had most of her belongings in boxes around her feet and a letter in her hand.

"_I've been asked to come back to the Romanian ministry."_

"_So you're leaving for good this time?"_

"_I don't know. Ron, we both know that this isn't working. Maybe if we had some time apart; time to think about things."_

"_You haven't had enough time for the past eight months? You're hardly ever home. Do you know that the twins have stopped asking for you? They don't even expect you to come home anymore. Cara doesn't even know who you are."_

"_I'm not what you need; any of you. I never wanted children, Ron. I should have told you that, but I loved you so…" She looked sincere for the first time in years. "You always sounded so excited about having a houseful of children. I convinced myself that I could do it; I could be the person you wanted. I know now that I can't be. You've always known it, too. We've both spent too many years pretending that I'm someone I can never be."_

With that, she left. A few weeks later, a package arrived by special owl post. Diana had filed for a divorce at last. We decided to meet one night in London to discuss the arrangements. I chose a discreet muggle restaurant, away from anyone who would know us. We had chosen to wait until the agreements had been reached to inform anyone of our decision.

I sat at the restaurant, but instead of thinking about the divorce, I found myself thinking about Hermione. How would she react? When would the right time be to tell her how I felt? I had decided that I had put things off for too long. In a few short days, I would no longer be married, and Hermione had never married. Was this fate's way of bringing us together?

I looked at the clock. Typical, Diana was late. She'd never been on time for anything. I smile as thought about Hermione always showing up early for every single…

The people outside the restaurant suddenly started to shout. Something was obviously causing a commotion. I careened my neck to see, but the pouring rain made it impossible to see. Someone ran in the door from the outside, shouting for a telephone.

"We need an ambulance! A woman's been hit crossing the street!"

Ice seemed to flood my body. My brain forced my body out of my seat and out into the freezing rain. I didn't know why, but something was telling to get outside. I worked my way between the people and saw a woman lying in the middle of the road. Several people were grouped around her, obviously trying to help her.

My feet carried me toward her. I saw her long blonde hair, spread over the ground. My heart caught in my throat. I looked down to see the black coat I had given her.

"Sir, get back! You shouldn't be over here unless you're with a medical team!"

"She's my wife." The words sounded foreign to me. I'd said them hundreds of times, but now they seemed odd.

The people blurred together as I knelt down to her. Rain was soaking through her clothes. Her arms and legs lay at odd angles. Her lips were parted and blood ran from the corner of her mouth. Her eyes were open, though, and she looked fearful.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

I had no idea what she was talking about, but before I could ask I was being pulled away and Diana was being rushed to the hospital. The following hours were a blur. People asked me if they could call someone, Hermione was the only person with a muggle telephone I knew. They called her, I suppose, and she came to my side. She left only to Floo everyone else, but Diana was gone before anyone could arrive.

My life was turned upside down. I felt torn; I wanted to be sad and grieve for my wife, but I could only think that we were over long before we began. I felt horrible, responsible, and a million other things. Diana had left us long ago. Her mind, spirit, and heart had left us long ago. I felt like the absence of her body was just the next step. It was strange…

I destroyed the divorce papers the night she died. For some reason, I didn't want anyone judging her after her death. To this day, no one knows.

The clock chimes from inside the house and I realize just how late it has gotten. Hermione will be back with the children soon. I find myself looking forward to seeing her. She's been different since the funeral. I feel like she's afraid to be happy around me. I miss hearing her laugh, and seeing her smile.

I had thought that Diana dying would drive all of my feelings for Hermione out of my head, but it hasn't. There are days when we're sitting together that I want to take her then and there. I want to wake up to her every morning. I want…her. I just want her.

Even as I stand here, I'm making up my mind. Tonight, will be the night. I will tell her everything; I want her to know it all. She will hear my story tonight. What will come will come.

I hear the sounds of several people clambering into the house.

"Ron, we're back."

"Hi dad!"

"Hi, daddy!"

I hug my oldest children before they trudge off to put away their things. Hermione hands Cara to me. Her face is flushed and she looks almost embarrassed to look at me.

"I'd best be off. Just let me know if you need me to take them again." She turns to head out the door.

I reach out and take her hand. "Stay." She turns around. "There's something I think you should know."

* * *

A/N: Completely sappy and ridiculous, but hey I'm a girl trying to write about a boy's feelings and I have no idea what goes on inside a guy's mind! Like it…or not….review…don't review…I'm not picky… 


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